Camp helps heal veterans’ war wounds

Darryl E. Owens, Orlando Sentinel

C.O.P.E. works with troops and their families to deal with the physical and emotional toll of battle.

When General Crumley III returned from Iraq, his children were delighted to have daddy home again — until they realized that the father they knew never returned from the war.

Having endured about 170 mortar attacks in less than six months, Crumley, 32, of Winter Park, a staff sergeant in the U.S. Air Force, couldn’t bear the playful clatter of his 4-year-old son, Freddie. He couldn’t seem to sit still, and he withdrew from his family.

“It was hard because we wanted to spend time with him and he couldn’t do it,” said his wife, Robin, 38, of her husband’s severe post-traumatic stress disorder. “It was difficult for the kids to understand.”

More than ever, children whose parents are either deployed or coping with emotional or physical war wounds find themselves at a loss to understand what’s happening to their families. That’s why Camp C.O.P.E. (Courage, Optimism, Patience and Encouragement), a group-based counseling program for military kids, next year is going national.

Children’s activities

But first, the program will come to Orlando. It will be a featured component at the Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes Road to Recovery Conference at Walt Disney World, which begins Friday. And the Crumley kids will be among the 100 children at Camp C.O.P.E. seeking answers.

Children in the program engage in age-appropriate, hands-on activities, such as making “worry” dolls, fashioning family portraits, and bursting balloons to signify the release of sad memories. Other activities, such as “Wounded Races,” have the kids donning gloves or mittens to mimic their parent’s disabilities.

“A lot of them feel hurt when their parents don’t do the things they used to, and they don’t understand,” said Elizabeth Reep, co-founder of Camp C.O.P.E. After the therapy, many now say, ‘I understand why my dad can’t play basketball with me anymore.’ “

The scenario of war-torn families is more common today in large part because of the longer deployments of U.S. service men and women, who, unlike previous wars, often are married with children. A 2004 military demographics report found that 58 percent of deployed service members have families waiting at home; 40 percent have an average of two children.

“It’s hard on them [kids] because their family member is out of the home, in harm’s way, and a lot of times they’re not sure when they’re going to come back,” Reep said.

When children can’t express emotions in words, their anger, depression and anxiety often translate into misbehavior, plunging grades and isolation, said Reep, a licensed clinical social worker. Others bottle up their emotions.

Before General Crumley enlisted in response to the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks, he was a carefree guy who was best buddies with his stepdaughter Mara. After he was discharged in March 2006, “he was in the home, but her best buddy wasn’t there anymore,” his wife said.

Difficult to talk

Mara, 14, withdrew into her own shell. Their son, who used to mountain climb a playful dad, instead encountered a man who tensed up and ground his teeth whenever the toddler came close.

“He’s trying to re-integrate with life,” Robin Crumley said. “It’s kind of like watching your loved one drowning and you’re putting your hand out and [he's] not taking it.”

Her husband still finds it difficult to discuss what he’s going through. His wife spoke on his behalf during a recent interview as he occasionally clarified facts.

The military doesn’t ignore this issue. But Reep said the mental-health services often aren’t convenient, in particular to National Guard members.

In 2008, Camp C.O.P.E. will hit the road to several military communities. Reep hopes to provide online training for counselors to broaden the program’s reach.

For now, Robin Crumley, whose dad was a POW in World War II who struggled with postwar emotions, relishes the opportunity her children will have to tackle their issues with peers.

For Mara, “to be able to interact with other children [with whom] she doesn’t have to explain herself, it’s like a relief,” Robin Crumley said. “If they start to talk and have a dialogue about emotions, it’s like an acknowledgment [that] it’s not weird. I really feel that this is something that’s the start of a positive journey.”

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